Lately I've been thinking and doing some stuff to move forward with my degree and my career. I've gone so far as to start the application process to the Pie-in-the-Sky State University that I have my highest sights set upon. I've gone through some of the motions and even started the short essay of "Why You Should Let Me Study At Your School." I haven't submitted anything yet because it's not complete, but I'm pretty satisfied with what I have so far.
I had a brief detour last week from this endeavor. I found myself riddled with self-doubts and questions of "why bother?" and other such nonsense.
The question of "why bother?" was answered with "besides the fact that you are, indeed, worth it, you practically OWE IT to the people you serve to move forward in the level of care that you are legally able to provide." I can say this about myself professionally: I crave the ability to do more. I can do more. I can almost run circles around my own job. I crave more responsibility and I want to be the one writing the prescriptions, diagnosing, doing therapy, et cetera.
So professionally, this is what I need to do. Doing the nursing assessments is nice, but frankly, it's too easy. I assess, I fill out a form. I'm not knocking it, it needs to be done. I *LOVE* visiting clients in the home. I almost always find a find to do more than I set out to do. I could keep it simple, gathering vitals and briefly discussing the details of their lives, but I find myself wanting to do more. Sometimes I wish I could just stay with them all day cleaning their apartments and making them more comfortable in their environments, but this is really not nursing. Still, these aren't easy tasks. I think that what I am drawn to are the challenges these people face and where I can fit in with that.
On the other hand, the doing more hand, I think that with the professional and academic track I am on, it only makes sense to further my education and become a nurse practitioner. This means get through the Bachelors, get through a Master's degree geared towards practicing adult psychiatry and get my certification.
I am still not 100% clear on what I really need to do to do this post-Master's stuff, but I do know that before anything else happens, I need the Bachelor's degree.
A few things have happened in the last couple of days that have told me that now is not the time to give up. Now is not the time to say Oh, my life is so hard and complicated, maybe I should just stick with working things out and wait until everything is all settled down and comfortable and then I'll think about school.
Hey, that day might not ever come! Things might not ever be as "stable" as I imagine they can be. And yet time will continue to pass and either it'll pass with me attaining the necessary degrees or it won't.
The only sure thing is that TIME WILL PASS.
I had a conversation today with someone I consider a mentor, a nurse practitioner at my workplace who really kind of helped seal up the deal. She basically reflected the whole idea of just getting back into school, getting the degrees taken care of, doing it now and not later. She gave me some good solid advice in a really concise way. She confirmed what I had been suspecting: NOW is the time.
I've got to at least try to move forward. I've got a solid goal, I've got some good experience, I've got the work ethic, and I've got the passion to work in this field to the highest level of my ability.
So what the heck am I waiting for?
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I go through this so often, this ping pong game of decision making when it comes to going back to school. I know it's in my future, too.
You DO owe it to yourself and your patients to further your career. You keep saying you were born to do this job, and God knows the nursing world needs people like you. The path isn't always clear. Sometimes you have to jump into the dark and make your own path.
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