Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I don't even know where to begin with this post.

Or with life.

I have so much unfinished business to take care of. On the other hand I have rushed through so many vital tasks that I can hardly catch my breath. We are in the middle of major, life-changing shit here people.

For starters, Sadie started high school yesterday. She was worried sick about it the night before. So was I. That morning was a little rough getting organized. Somehow we managed to get there on time.

When she got out of the car I told her I loved her, as is my habit. She told me she loved me too and shut the door behind her. As she rushed off to homeroom I watched her for a few moments and then felt so acutely lonely. This was a moment that someone else would've liked to have been there for too. I let a few tears go, but the baby was in the backseat and she needed breakfast.

Turns out that Sadie had two good days of school in a row. She is taking German and Geography as her electives and the rest of the classes are just the usual required courses. She has made a few friends. She told me today that she "loved" this school. This helps to mend my broken heart just a little bit.

Also, friends help mend my broken heart a little bit too. I have had some good visitors, good email, good conversations, good communication in general. I've had one or two bits of drama but I cannot let things like that overshadow the good will and intentions that have been poured into our lives.

And it reminds me that people are mostly good.

2 comments:

~Free said...

I feel like Rob WAS there, somehow. When I lost my friend several years back, I got the sense that he wanted me, wholeheartedly, to LIVE... to sing, laugh and enjoy my life. Almost as a tribute to him - as though he really could experience life somehow when I was truly happy. And so I really believe this to be true and believe that Rob proudly watched Sadie's transition to HS and was so freaking pleased.

mommydawg said...

I really believe you're right.