The Final Hours of the Long Hiatus

Before diving in to what the title of this entry suggests what it should be about, I think a quick recap of the process of the return home is in order. All-in-all, it was sort of painless in some ways and complete and total torture in others. I'd rather not get into the torture part because that's best left behind.

What worked best for us this past year was summed up very nicely through the way in which the move itself was made possible-good people in our corner. It literally took a village to get us home. Between the packing, the loading, the driving, the plane flights, and the countless good wishes that were granted to us-well, I'm not sure how it would've all worked out. To those of you who were able to help with the nitty-gritty side of things-thank you. As I see it, you made a sacrifice for the well-being of this family and it will never be forgotten. To the even larger group of people who offered unlimited support, phone calls, encouragement, text messages, prayers, emails, and just plain old good vibes-without you I really don't know how I would've discovered the will to not fall apart completely.

In time, I am sure I will devote a lot of space to really sharing more of what my life was like as I stumbled through August of 2007 to August of 2008. Looking at these words, I cannot fathom that it was just one year. It was a year that felt like a decade. Nearly every single day felt like a week. Every hour was a day in itself. Time felt like it was moving so slowly, but not in the way that you would hope for. More like in the way you might feel trapped in quicksand and waiting for help.

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Tomorrow, I return to work. I have no idea how productive I will actually be tomorrow, but my foot will be back in the door. I expect to be non-productive, possibly even counter-productive. Ha ha.

These final hours are a bit bittersweet. Although the reason for my long absence from work is a sad one indeed, there was a freedom in not working that wasn't half-bad. Mostly it made me really, really crazy.

I look forward to picking up where I left off. My work environment, physically, is less than stellar. The building is old. The microwave is always dirty. Sometimes there are interesting insects sharing our space. The computers are slow. Some of the places I have to visit are downright creepy.

For some reason that might be hard to really convey in light of the cons, it's best job I've ever had. It's in the field that I knew I wanted way back in nursing school on the very first day I sat in my psychiatric nursing class. This is the way I know best how to be a nurse and be fully myself, to be the things I like most about myself, to bring about the most effective treatment possible, and to work with people that I hold dear-both staff and clients alike.

And it's just a good night's sleep away from this moment.